A recent question came to the parish from a parishioner concerned that some people were not holding hands at the Our Father. This particular gentleman thought it represented a “disunity” among the body of worshipers because some chose not to do what everyone else was doing. In investigating this, I found that holding hands during the Our Father was encouraged by some of the first pastors (the parish was formed in the early 1990s) to show the unity of the congregation. In looking across the Internet, I found some very interesting responses to hand holding. One woman said that she cries when there is no one to hold her hand at the Our Father. Another person described being “repulsed” when the young mother of three would not hold hands. Why? Because that mother is giving a bad example to her children on what inclusion means at Mass. At this particular part of the Mass, we are called to focus on the radical unity that we share with Christ through his passion, death, resurrection, and ascension. So why, then, are so many people affected by the person next to them?

Holding hands at the Our Father is a recent development in the Mass, but its origins are uncertain. Some say that this practice came as part of exercises and practices at retreats, while others claim that it was encouraged by priests in certain places and parishes. In any case, there is no mention of it in the greater context of the Roman liturgy, and——in my own limited experience——it seems to mainly be limited to the U.S. and some English-speaking regions influenced by American Catholicism.

There are guiding documents that my parish follows regarding how the Mass is celebrated so that we might remain faithful to the way the Church desires Mass to be offered. Most pertinent to the question about the Our Father are the General Instruction of the Roman Missal and the Diocesan Liturgical Norms. The General Instruction of the Roman Missal makes no indication of the people’s posture during the praying of the Our Father. It simply says, “After the Eucharistic Prayer is concluded, the Priest, with hands joined, says alone the introduction to the Lord’s Prayer, and then with hands extended, he pronounces the prayer together with the people” (n. 152). The Liturgical Norms that have been promulgated by local ordinary state, “Holding hands at the Our Father is not found in the Order of the Mass” (n. 53). By these two instructions, the priests at the parish where I am assigned will not be prescribing any action in the Mass that is not prescribed by the Church. In short, no matter what other priests might be doing or might have done in the past, we will not encourage anything that is not part of the liturgical books and legitimate customs.

If we go deeper, however, into the Communion Rite which begins with the Our Father, I think we will find some theological points that would discourage us from holding hands. The postures that we assume at Mass are representative of our response to the particular part of the Mass during which we exercise those postures. Therefore, the communion that we share with each other is properly expressed (and the Church invites us do so) at the Sign of Peace. The Our Father and following two prayers speak to the communion that we share firstly with the Lord. Once the liturgy speaks of the graces and effects of the Church’s unity with Christ, her spouse and head of the body, then she invites the faithful to exchange some external sign of the union between the members. So, if one holds hands to express the communion that we share between each other, the Our Father is not the proper place for this gesture.

In this way, since 1) the Church does not prescribe holding hands and 2) the symbolism expressed by holding hands does not correspond directly with the particular Christian mystery being celebrated at the Our Father and prayers for peace, then there is nothing lacking in the liturgy by someone choosing not to hold hands. In fact, it should move us to discourage parishioners from holding hands as it adds nothing to the theological significance of the rites and prayers.

One may argue that since we are all praying a common prayer in unison, as children of the Father, holding hands is an expression of our unity and common prayer together. However, this argument could be used to justify holding hands at any part of the Mass. The whole Mass is the unity of the members of the body of Christ lifting one heart and voice to the Heavenly Father. Moreover, we are not called to conform the liturgy to ourselves, but allow the liturgy itself to conform our hearts to Christ. It can do that if we abandon ourselves to awesome power of the unadulterated rites that the Church celebrates.